Why I Changed.

There can be many reasons why I left for a while. I love blogging and I love what person it has made me become. I just can’t stick to one thing for a long time. I tried being so many different blogging niches. Lifestyle, DIY, book, and even writing. They all didn’t feel good.

In lesser words: it sucked.

I hated it so much. I felt ingenuine, unpredictable, and just unoriginal.

I knew that if I ever planned to make money from my passions, I would have to do my own thing. So, I had to think about what I was good at.

Well, I didn’t know what I was good at.

Writing? Gage said I was good at writing and recommended I stick to it but was I really? I only ever got B’s or C’s on my essays in school.

This was when I realized I didn’t know what to do. I was lounging at home, avoiding the thought of my unsuccessful blog.

That’s when it popped into my head. I had been developing a board game for almost a year. I had been slowly working on it when I had the time between work, school, and personal life. Why don’t I just make the blog about what I really like? GAMES!

So, that’s what my plan was.

I wrote a post saying adieu for now and enjoyed my time away.

But the end of April loomed over my head. I realized that I had done nothing for most of the month. What was I going to do?

I changed the layout of the blog a couple times, made it feel more like me, and began writing this post. I made a plan for content and I started feeling better.

I wanted my blog to feel more like a place for me to talk.

If I decided to sell my board game (which I totally wanted to), I would need a place for my fans to go to, and I wanted this to be it, but not on its own. I created a site for just work on the board game, while this would turn into a place where I could talk about anything I wanted. I had an earlier post called Why Bloggers need niches, and it made me realize that I was doing exactly what I didn’t like. Making me focus on one thing. The concept that I said I didn’t like. So, I went a different path. I would be blogging about whatever I wanted to on this while talking about games and more on the other site.

Note: I will not be announcing it until I’m fully equipped with all of what I need.

I have also built up a fear of locals finding out about my blog and bullying me for it.

In the past, I had turned my blog into a diary and began to vent about things that upset me, specifically people. They found my blog and bad things occurred.  I’m trying to get over what they had done to me (and what I did to them), but I keep bullying myself. I’m terrified that people will find out what happened and hate me for it. That was a year ago and I’m different now. Hopefully different enough for them to keep their nose out of my business.

This is a big reason why I haven’t started a Facebook page, yet. I’m terrified of people finding out because I was a horrible person for what I did,  and I don’t want to be that again. I just want to move on and forget, but the past keeps holding me back. So, I don’t know what to do.

I want to be open about what I want to do as a career, but I’m scared about what people will do to me.

So, now what am I doing?

Well, I still don’t really have a grasp on everything yet, but it’s coming together. I have ideas on what to do, but nothing too exciting. You guys might see some playthroughs of games (both board and video) most likely here because I need to develop the game site still.

I also want to have guest posts and collaborations with people because I WANT FRIENDS (I really only have those people that I talk to every two months, so I’m gonna try harder I swear!). I also want my personal life friends to guest post because to get over my fear of the past, I want you and them to see what I do when I’m blogging and when I’m chilling at home.

Because I’m still going through a small mental crisis, I might not be as active blogging and on twitter. I hope you all still love me by the end of this ;-;

Comment down below what social media you think I should use!

I love you all!!

-Caitlynne

 

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