Changing My Ways For Real This Time #1

I decided to change my life. I’m diving into making myself better. For real this time.

I have always dealt with an amount of sadness deep into my core. I’ve lived a pretty rough life so far, and that sadness has amounted to weighing me down. I always feel that the world is on my shoulders, like “If I screw this up, everyone around me will fall too.” I’m ready for this to stop.

My ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up since July. As I write this it’s his birthday. He and I are still friends, it feels better to just be friends too. But he and I were each other’s support systems during our relationship and now he’s struggling with depression. He’s currently taking anti-depressants. I want that, but not through medication. I want to rewire my brain without that help. I want to talk my feelings out of me, while I change my daily habits. If my habits changed, I really believe my thoughts will change.

The first thing I will be changing is stress.  Anything that stresses me, I will work on. The first item on the list is school. I decided to take Winter term off of school, maybe even Spring. During this break, I’ll be working at my job, developing my board game, and cleaning up my life. Smashing out those unnecessary things, like donating some books I don’t want anymore.

This stress also happens because of my laziness. I will be working on my diet and slowly start working out. It’s not something high on my priority list, but I want to live a little bit healthier.

So, at the start of December, I will be finally changing my habits.

-Caitie

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