Honestly I’ve been so stressed with work, that my confidence is at an all time low.
My life has been absolutely crazy these past couple of weeks, and I’m not really mentally/emotionally stable at the moment. Not too long after my recent camping trip, I was hired as a Caregiver for an Assisted living facility. I was incredibly nervous about it. When I started my training, I was really worried that I would screw up. Ultimately, I decided that I wasn’t comfortable with it. I’m currently in the process of going back to my old job and continuing the search.
Because of this happening to me, I’ve had this feeling in my gut that I’m not where I’m supposed to be. It feels as though fate or whatever higher power out there is saying “Wait, no. That’s not where I planned for you to go.” I can’t shake this feeling, either. It’s stuck deep in my brain. It feels like something is off with my course of life.
Maybe it’s Fate telling me to actually start developing my board game and start a company? I have the game ready, I just need to play-test it and I need art for it.
I’m also absolutely terrified of showing it to anyone. Maybe they don’t like it, or think it won’t be a fun game. I’m nervous about showing people what I’ve created from my thoughts and feelings. Even the thought of showing people some unfinished books scares me.
I need to get over these feelings if I want to follow my dreams, though. These are my dreams- no. They’re GOALS. Goals I want to do in my lifetime. I don’t want to go to school to get a degree I don’t want. I want to create board games, so people can play them and feel joy.
Actual joy from the bottom of their heart.