A Letter To My Younger Self: 16

Hey, you. How are things? It’s me. Your 20 year old self. I’m here to talk.

You got and the quit your first job within 2 months. How does that make you feel? You and your boyfriend are doing pretty well. How about your Geometry grade? Don’t worry, it’s not your fault. The teachers really didn’t teach that well enough for everyone to understand. It’s not the best teaching style. You’ll pass it in summer school, though. You go from an F to an A. Feel good about it. You got into Concert Choir! Congrats! I’m so proud that you were able to stand in front of everyone and sing a solo. You didn’t try out for Cantalinas, but it’s okay. You don’t like that exposure anyway. You dye your hair a really cool purple, too. Eventually it does change to an even better silver.

I’m avoiding the elephant in the room for a reason. Grandma’s death. It was hard on everyone, not just you. Her death was unexpected and absolutely heartbreaking. All she had was a cold, how could this happen?

Death affects everyone differently. You’ll shut everyone out and it’ll change your view for the rest of your life. You’ll have a lot of trouble from Junior year to the end of Senior year. You definitely do some things you regret, but it’s okay. Mistakes are meant to happen.

Don’t get your hopes up about the boyfriend situation. I know you believe you have your life planned out, but you really don’t. You’re only 16, so relax a bit. Enjoy what you have right now. You’re young, it’s okay to not know everything yet.

Oh yeah.

Do you remember that Asian-looking kid in Choir? Try to remember about him, he’s kind of important to your future self ❤

-Caitlynne

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Being Alone for a Week

So, my roommate and her parents left town for 5 days for a motorcycle club racing event. I stayed home because I didn’t want to go, and someone had to watch the animals. Since they’d be gone, I invited the boyfriend over to stay with me. Just so I didn’t have to be alone at night. Wednesday night to Monday morning, only leaving Saturday and Sunday for work and family stuff.

Wednesday was my first day of (kinda but not really)being alone. I went to work in the morning, helped my mom in the afternoon, and went grocery shopping with the BF. After all that, we got back to my house and made chicken curry for dinner. It was so good lol.

Every Thursday night, a couple friends and me watch anime at one of the friend’s house. I originally planned to go, and let the BF stay at my place. Well, he decided to have a barbecue. I didn’t care, just as long as he cleaned up his mess! Well, one of our friends had the idea of cancelling anime night and have the two friends hang out at my house for the barbecue. We all agreed. We all hung out from noon to midnight. It was pretty fun.

Friday, the BF and I did absolutely nothing. We planned to clean the house, but we decided to play Minecraft on my PS4 until 8pm. During the day, though, he somehow let a bee in the house (technically on Thursday). SO we had to try and get that big boye out. That was actually the most exciting thing that happened on Friday lol. Afterwards, we had sushi for dinner and then went to bed.

I honestly don’t remember what I did on the weekend, which makes me feel bad, because I got lazy while typing this up. I remember cleaning though.

Monday was the day they came back home. I had to help my mom again, in the afternoon. It was kind of upsetting when they came back, but I did miss them.

I guess I should start working on my other blog posts, now since I got lazy lol

-Caitlynne

Why I Pushed Off School

Right now, I don’t really know what I want to do with my career. I want to keep blogging, I know for sure, but I can’t live off of what I want right now. Months ago, I decided to stop going to school until I can decide where I want my life to go. I don’t want to pursue a career I’ll hate. My “dream” career would be a game developer. I would absolutely love to create games people would play with their friends and family. Even being an author sounds amazing to me. I just need an extra push to keep writing and making a game. I wonder when that’ll happen and what form it’ll take…

My Mental Health and Getting Better

I know I’ve done this post just with a different name many times, but I actually mean it this time. I have a pushing force behind me this time whose telling me what to do (boyfriend)

I’ve always had some self-confidence or self-esteem issues. I know it’s a problem, and I’ve tried working on it, but it always seems to resurface and hurt me. I can’t say I’m depressed or that I have anxiety issues. I beat myself up a lot and I worry. When I say I’ve tried fixing it, I’ve only tried talking about it. That’s it.

How I beat myself up:

  • When things go wrong, I blame myself. Thoughts like “It’s my fault.”or “I caused it.” pop in and take over.
  • I say bad things about myself. When I get into a sad mood I say stuff like “I’m dumb.” or “Who would want to be with me.” or “I’m not good at anything.” and I want to prove to myself that I’m wrong. I want to find the things I’m good at, I want to prove to myself that I’m smart. I want to live a good life.

So I want to be better. And I think talking about my feelings would get that speed bump smaller. Another big thing is living better. I want to have a clean room! I want to eat healthier! I want to exercise more! So I have a small plan leading to a bigger one overall.

  • Go through my clothes and downsize
  • Set a schedule when to clean
  • Save money by buying groceries and skip the McDonald’s
  • Set a day where I’ll exercise once a week

I’ll update you guys on my process of this, with a post every once in a while, I promise!!

I guess it’s time to start living better…

-Caitie

What I Love About Spring

I’m finally writing this post since it’s been in my drafts or what it feels like years now. I’ve been incredibly lazy these pat couple week, but it’s okay! I’m writing this now. 😀

I’m not going too much into detail, because of this laziness so deal with it
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  • Flowers
    • Specifically daisies
  • The Outdoors
    • Camping and Hiking
  • The rain
    • Puddle jumping and walking around
  • Cadbury Creme eggs
  • Gardening
    • Specifically veggies and flowers

Not in a specific order btdubs

That’s it for today, yall

-Caitie

Why I Don’t Use Instagram

This question has been always asked and it has a good answer.

On many occasions, I have had an Instagram account before. When it first came out, when I was in high school, and on a whim.

The first time I had it I was in 8th grade. This was in 2012-2013. I don’t remember the exact time (guys, this was at maximum 7 years ago). Another thing I don’t remember is how long I had it then. I decided to delete my account when I just didn’t want it anymore.

The second time, it was late high school. I had it for a good 6 months or so. I’ve never really liked those posts of “Our love is pure and we’re the best ever” people. I don’t want your love jammed down my throat- and I saw that all the time. It was awful. I complained about it once on Twitter. A week or two later, I did an appreciation post for my boyfriend at the time. He was my friend before my boyfriend, and I just wanted to tell people about how great he was- in a “hey look at this guy! He’s my best friend and we’re in love! He’s a great dude and you’ll love talking to him” kind of way. In no way possible I would say “We’re in love and no relationship is better than ours” Well, I got “called out.” because I was being a hypocrite. In my defense, 1. I would do those kind of posts for all my friends. 2. The guy that called me out was in a relationship that was annoying about it. He and his girlfriend jammed (the shit out of) their relationship down everyone’s throats. It was exhausting. About a month later, I was done with seeing it all and deleted it.

The last and final time I had made one was last spring. I made it, posted one picture and then deleted the app. It still exists out there somewhere, I just don’t remember about it at all.

So let’s get down to the reason why I dislike Instagram

  1. It brings drama
    1. It has always brought me some kind of drama (or that newfangled “Tea” yougin’s are talking, and I’m honestly sick of it.
  2. I’m not really the best at taking pictures of myself, and I’m okay with not seeing a bunch of selfies.
  3. If I did have an Instagram, it would honestly just be picture of Bean, my boyfriend, or memes.
  4. It’s addictive
    1. I’m tired of being glued to my phone screen all the time. If I can cancel one thing out of my daily life, I’m glad I only use twitter for memes.

Well, I guess that’s it, yall. I hope you enjoyed this- and I really hope you take some of these things to your life and try to use Instagram less.

Have a good day 🙂

-Caitie

The Biweekly Newsletter #2

So I know I was totally completely LATE with this being biweekly but I suck so that’s how it be sometimes

I recently found a problem with my new job: I need more money

I don’t like talking about life problems (relationships and money mostly) and it’s kinda hard for me to say stuff like this. I’m only working 3 days a week, and the wage fro my area isn’t too much higher than where I used to live and work. My pay is biweekly (kinda like this heh). If it was weekly, I’d be able to survive better.

So, now I’m looking for another job, whether I work 2 jobs or I find a job that will give me full time (or at least something close to it).

If I were making money off this or like YouTube, I think I could work my job and keep doing these.

Another thing that happened to me that is quite frustrating

Last month, I ordered a new Popsocket. My current one was getting old, which turned into me breaking it. So I was waiting excitedly for my new Popsocket!

Here’s a picture of it:

it came out weird but oh well

It never came

Still hasn’t

Last week, I contacted support and they resent a new one

So I’m actually getting one today and I’m happy about it because my Popsocket is actually broken to shit after ALMOST A MONTH OF NOT GETTING A NEW ONE

sorry im a little triggered.

That’s literally the only things that have happened to me since my last update post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-Caitlynne