My Mental Health and Getting Better

I know I’ve done this post just with a different name many times, but I actually mean it this time. I have a pushing force behind me this time whose telling me what to do (boyfriend)

I’ve always had some self-confidence or self-esteem issues. I know it’s a problem, and I’ve tried working on it, but it always seems to resurface and hurt me. I can’t say I’m depressed or that I have anxiety issues. I beat myself up a lot and I worry. When I say I’ve tried fixing it, I’ve only tried talking about it. That’s it.

How I beat myself up:

  • When things go wrong, I blame myself. Thoughts like “It’s my fault.”or “I caused it.” pop in and take over.
  • I say bad things about myself. When I get into a sad mood I say stuff like “I’m dumb.” or “Who would want to be with me.” or “I’m not good at anything.” and I want to prove to myself that I’m wrong. I want to find the things I’m good at, I want to prove to myself that I’m smart. I want to live a good life.

So I want to be better. And I think talking about my feelings would get that speed bump smaller. Another big thing is living better. I want to have a clean room! I want to eat healthier! I want to exercise more! So I have a small plan leading to a bigger one overall.

  • Go through my clothes and downsize
  • Set a schedule when to clean
  • Save money by buying groceries and skip the McDonald’s
  • Set a day where I’ll exercise once a week

I’ll update you guys on my process of this, with a post every once in a while, I promise!!

I guess it’s time to start living better…


What I Love About Spring

I’m finally writing this post since it’s been in my drafts or what it feels like years now. I’ve been incredibly lazy these pat couple week, but it’s okay! I’m writing this now. 😀

I’m not going too much into detail, because of this laziness so deal with it

  • Flowers
    • Specifically daisies
  • The Outdoors
    • Camping and Hiking
  • The rain
    • Puddle jumping and walking around
  • Cadbury Creme eggs
  • Gardening
    • Specifically veggies and flowers

Not in a specific order btdubs

That’s it for today, yall


Why I Don’t Use Instagram

This question has been always asked and it has a good answer.

On many occasions, I have had an Instagram account before. When it first came out, when I was in high school, and on a whim.

The first time I had it I was in 8th grade. This was in 2012-2013. I don’t remember the exact time (guys, this was at maximum 7 years ago). Another thing I don’t remember is how long I had it then. I decided to delete my account when I just didn’t want it anymore.

The second time, it was late high school. I had it for a good 6 months or so. I’ve never really liked those posts of “Our love is pure and we’re the best ever” people. I don’t want your love jammed down my throat- and I saw that all the time. It was awful. I complained about it once on Twitter. A week or two later, I did an appreciation post for my boyfriend at the time. He was my friend before my boyfriend, and I just wanted to tell people about how great he was- in a “hey look at this guy! He’s my best friend and we’re in love! He’s a great dude and you’ll love talking to him” kind of way. In no way possible I would say “We’re in love and no relationship is better than ours” Well, I got “called out.” because I was being a hypocrite. In my defense, 1. I would do those kind of posts for all my friends. 2. The guy that called me out was in a relationship that was annoying about it. He and his girlfriend jammed (the shit out of) their relationship down everyone’s throats. It was exhausting. About a month later, I was done with seeing it all and deleted it.

The last and final time I had made one was last spring. I made it, posted one picture and then deleted the app. It still exists out there somewhere, I just don’t remember about it at all.

So let’s get down to the reason why I dislike Instagram

  1. It brings drama
    1. It has always brought me some kind of drama (or that newfangled “Tea” yougin’s are talking, and I’m honestly sick of it.
  2. I’m not really the best at taking pictures of myself, and I’m okay with not seeing a bunch of selfies.
  3. If I did have an Instagram, it would honestly just be picture of Bean, my boyfriend, or memes.
  4. It’s addictive
    1. I’m tired of being glued to my phone screen all the time. If I can cancel one thing out of my daily life, I’m glad I only use twitter for memes.

Well, I guess that’s it, yall. I hope you enjoyed this- and I really hope you take some of these things to your life and try to use Instagram less.

Have a good day 🙂


The Biweekly Newsletter #2

So I know I was totally completely LATE with this being biweekly but I suck so that’s how it be sometimes

I recently found a problem with my new job: I need more money

I don’t like talking about life problems (relationships and money mostly) and it’s kinda hard for me to say stuff like this. I’m only working 3 days a week, and the wage fro my area isn’t too much higher than where I used to live and work. My pay is biweekly (kinda like this heh). If it was weekly, I’d be able to survive better.

So, now I’m looking for another job, whether I work 2 jobs or I find a job that will give me full time (or at least something close to it).

If I were making money off this or like YouTube, I think I could work my job and keep doing these.

Another thing that happened to me that is quite frustrating

Last month, I ordered a new Popsocket. My current one was getting old, which turned into me breaking it. So I was waiting excitedly for my new Popsocket!

Here’s a picture of it:

it came out weird but oh well

It never came

Still hasn’t

Last week, I contacted support and they resent a new one

So I’m actually getting one today and I’m happy about it because my Popsocket is actually broken to shit after ALMOST A MONTH OF NOT GETTING A NEW ONE

sorry im a little triggered.

That’s literally the only things that have happened to me since my last update post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


My Blogging Goals for 2019

I know it’s incredibly late for this, and I probably did something similar already, but I wanted to restart this and try harder with it! As you know, I am a VERY small blogger. Blogging is something that I’ve taken seriously, but it’s also something that I don’t like talking about in my day to day life. Not that many of my friends even know I have this as an outlet. I get self-conscious very easily and I don’t like being judged. It’s very hard for me to take constructive criticism sometimes lol.

So, I have a short list of goals for myself starting now to next March (March 2019-2020)

  • Hit 200 followers
    • Since I’m still a small blogger, I want to get better and I want my follow count to get higher as well. So what I plan to do is literally try harder. Tweet more, blog more interesting topics- just try harder!!
  • Hit 300 Posts this year
    • More posts= no hiatus for better content. I always have to stop every couple months to plan posts, I hate doing that.
  • Collaborate with more bloggers
    • I’m kinda shy and I want more blogging friends, so hit me up guys! I’ll try my best too 😀
  • Have that “one” big post/project
    • Every blogger has that one big project they put all their hard work into it and I want to experience that this year. I already have plans for it in the works. I really hope you’ll enjoy it 🙂

And I guess that’s it! IF you guys want more stuff like this or anything different! Comment below, or hit me up on Twitter @CaitieMadrigal, or if you want to get to know me more or see the memes, follow my personal Twitter @watrslooth

Peace out yall

The Biweekly Newsletter #1

I know- weird title. It’s a work in progress. Leave me be!

Ps I’m sorry this is 2 days late

Lately, my emotions have been crazy. Like, almost bipolar level (honestly wouldn’t be surprised, it runs in my family). I’ve had a lot of good things happen in my life, and because I am unbelievably unlucky, there will be a big crash down. So, to prepare for this, I’m deciding to write a post every couple of weeks with updates about how my life is going. Longtime readers will know this to be replacing my “life Adventures” series. I know I could just keep it the same, but right now I’m in a phase of my life where I was to change. I do this every 2 months, so get used to it bub. So, with this first post, I will be explaining what happened to me in these past months since I’ve stopped posting life updates.

So, my last L.A. was September 4th, 2018. Well, there have been some major updates since then. First, let’s do a little recap of before…

  • My ex and I broke up in the summer
  • I moved in with my bestie
  • I got my car
  • yeah

With the last one being at the beginning of September, you may remember me starting school. Well, I went through the first month of school doing fairly well. It wasn’t until around my birthday (the 17th) when I decided to take a break from school for a little bit. I’ve talked about this before in a past post. I hated what I was studying and decided to stop school until I figure out what I want to do.

Well, at that same time, I started having a crush on one of the guys in my friend group. It was a little crush. The more time I spent with him, the more I liked him. He’s a funny, quiet, outdoorsman and we had a lot in common-weirdly.

With my plan to stop classes for a while set in motion, I was living life at home, playing with Bean, and just hanging out with my friends. I was pretty happy with working and relaxing.

Well, that changed quickly when that little crush of mine started growing every single time I saw that kid. We went to the park a couple times, some days he would kind of ignore me, while other times he wouldn’t stop talking to me. I wrote in my journal that either I had to tell him I like him, or I needed to make it go away. So one night, he asked in our group if anyone was down to get food. I was. He came to pick me up and when we got our food and sat down, I brought up that a friend thought we’d start liking each other. Turns out he liked me too. That night was the hardest I had ever blushed.

Now, the boy and I are 3 months into our relationship and- I also have gotten a new job. So, it feels like my life is going pretty well.

Now that you’ve been updated on what’s happened, I’ll be posting these every couple weeks or so, with updates on how I’ve been emotionally, physically, and ‘life’ wise.

Have a good day everyone! 🙂

30 Things You Might Not Know About Me

Hi guys! Sorry about such a short post. I had the idea to make a list about myself you guys most likely didn’t know about me. Originally it was 50, but it took me such a long time to think about these things that I cut it down to 30. I hope you guys enjoy. Without further ado… 30 things you might not have known about me! 🙂

  1. As a child, I needed to have 3 of the same stuffed animal (mom, dad, and baby).
  2. Manga over novels.
  3. My favorite bands of all time are Ninja Sex Party, Green Day, blink-182, and Jule Vera.
  4. Love me a good Dr. Pepper.
  5. I love Argyle.
  6. I have poor blood circulation. Specifically in my feet.
  7. I have a tumor! (benign)
  8. I still use my childhood bedding(Looney Tunes!)
  9. I love 80’s music.
  10. When I went to Disneyland in 2017, I only bought a Star Wars purse, Star Wars Mickey Mouse ears, and a Cinderella charm bracelet.
  11. I’m scared to try fake eyelashes.
  12. I read the book The Martain, and when the movie was announced, I was NOT happy. The book was hilarious and the movie didn’t do it justice.
  13. My three favorite authors are Marissa Meyer, Naoko Takeuchi, and Lisa Jackson.
  14. I love playing games, but I’m actually pretty bad at them.
  15. I started smoking pot in August.
  16. For a long time, I wanted to be a history teacher.
  17. I hate bananas.
  18. I love Brussel sprouts.
  19. I love Tomb Raider.
  20. My favorite color is yellow.
  21. I only own one pair of lace-up sneakers.
  22. When I was a kid, I was playing with one of my friends on a wooden play structure. That caused me to have a splinter that was about an inch and a half long in my knee. Her mom had to pull it out with tweezers.
  23. The last cold I had was in 2015. That record has been broken. My boyfriend gave me his last week. I caught it before it could get as bad as his.
  24. I technically didn’t miss a single day of high school.
  25. I originally started my blog to talk shit about my high school friends.
  26. I bought my ferret Bean on a whim. She cost me $300.
  27. On the 100th day of the year in Kindergarten, I told my mom I wanted to eat one hundred Hostess Ho-hos. She vetoed that idea.
  28. I’m not the girliest girl, but putting on makeup makes me feel like a powerful businesswoman.
  29. I give everything weird names.
  30. I’m terrified of Centipedes.