Is this goodbye?

Lately, I’ve been in a creative slump. Like a really bad one. Enough to make me want to quit blogging. Now, I’m not set on the idea. Maybe just a little hiatus from this so I can think about what I want, and at then end of it, decide whether to quit or not.

I love the idea of owning my own company, whether it be a board game company or an entertainment one. I would love to build enough of a brand to leave a mark, but I’m afraid that I’ve never been good at first impressions😥

So, once this goes up I’ll be on hiatus for a while. If I have an idea for a post, I’ll do it, but if nothing comes…. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I guess I’ll see you in a while?

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Top 5 Manga

  • Sailor Moon- One of the first Magical girl manga 100% RECOMMEND EVERYONE
  • The Wallflower- Four pretty boys fix an ugly girl
  • Noragami- Meet Yato, a stray God, who saved a girl.
  • Azumanga Daioh- Slice of life about middle/ high schoolers (I can’t remember which one)
  • Laid Back Camp- Wanna go camping?

Hi everyone!

Similar to my other top 5 post, I’ll be keeping this short, sweet, and straight to the point. I’ll give you a short synopsis about each one.

I absolutely love manga and anime. For over a year now, my best friends and I have had an anime night every Thursday- but we’ll have to cancel it soon, due to one of them moving an hour away. Instead we’ll have one night a month.

ANYWAY

bye

-Caitie

My Life Lately- Well, “Work” Lately

Honestly I’ve been so stressed with work, that my confidence is at an all time low.

Hi, everyone!

My life has been absolutely crazy these past couple of weeks, and I’m not really mentally/emotionally stable at the moment. Not too long after my recent camping trip, I was hired as a Caregiver for an Assisted living facility. I was incredibly nervous about it. When I started my training, I was really worried that I would screw up. Ultimately, I decided that I wasn’t comfortable with it. I’m currently in the process of going back to my old job and continuing the search.

Because of this happening to me, I’ve had this feeling in my gut that I’m not where I’m supposed to be. It feels as though fate or whatever higher power out there is saying “Wait, no. That’s not where I planned for you to go.” I can’t shake this feeling, either. It’s stuck deep in my brain. It feels like something is off with my course of life.

Maybe it’s Fate telling me to actually start developing my board game and start a company? I have the game ready, I just need to play-test it and I need art for it.

I’m also absolutely terrified of showing it to anyone. Maybe they don’t like it, or think it won’t be a fun game. I’m nervous about showing people what I’ve created from my thoughts and feelings. Even the thought of showing people some unfinished books scares me.

I need to get over these feelings if I want to follow my dreams, though. These are my dreams- no. They’re GOALS. Goals I want to do in my lifetime. I don’t want to go to school to get a degree I don’t want. I want to create board games, so people can play them and feel joy.

Actual joy from the bottom of their heart.

-Caitlynne

What I Love About Summer!

Hi guys! I’m sorry I haven’t posted something in a couple weeks! I’ve been really busy this past month lol. It felt like every weekend I had something to do. I promise I’ll do an update post soon!

My plans for this summer so far aren’t really existent. I started working full-time, so I won’t be able to go pirate camping with my friends, but at least I can still look forward to my cute summer looks!

For now, I want to tell you guys what I love about this coming season. These are really the things that I absolutely adore in summer.

  • Wearing Shorts
    • Usually when it’s incredibly hot, I either lounge around in hot pants or no pants at all
  • The County Fair
    • In my town, there’s an annual fair where people can showcase their animals, or crafts. There’s also a talent stage, a Native American village, and an amusement park, just on ONE side. The other side is the food court and the rodeo.
  • Travelling
    • Not specific travelling to other countries, because I’m poor and I can’t afford that, BUT RATHER going to the beach, or camping.
  • Reading for Pleasure
    • Every summer as a child, I would participate in a summer reading from my local library. I would still like to continue that in my adult life, but I can’t get the prices and stuff. So, I’ll just read on my own lol.

Really the only things I hate are the heat and wasps

-Caitie

A Letter To My Younger Self: 16

Hey, you. How are things? It’s me. Your 20 year old self. I’m here to talk.

You got and the quit your first job within 2 months. How does that make you feel? You and your boyfriend are doing pretty well. How about your Geometry grade? Don’t worry, it’s not your fault. The teachers really didn’t teach that well enough for everyone to understand. It’s not the best teaching style. You’ll pass it in summer school, though. You go from an F to an A. Feel good about it. You got into Concert Choir! Congrats! I’m so proud that you were able to stand in front of everyone and sing a solo. You didn’t try out for Cantalinas, but it’s okay. You don’t like that exposure anyway. You dye your hair a really cool purple, too. Eventually it does change to an even better silver.

I’m avoiding the elephant in the room for a reason. Grandma’s death. It was hard on everyone, not just you. Her death was unexpected and absolutely heartbreaking. All she had was a cold, how could this happen?

Death affects everyone differently. You’ll shut everyone out and it’ll change your view for the rest of your life. You’ll have a lot of trouble from Junior year to the end of Senior year. You definitely do some things you regret, but it’s okay. Mistakes are meant to happen.

Don’t get your hopes up about the boyfriend situation. I know you believe you have your life planned out, but you really don’t. You’re only 16, so relax a bit. Enjoy what you have right now. You’re young, it’s okay to not know everything yet.

Oh yeah.

Do you remember that Asian-looking kid in Choir? Try to remember about him, he’s kind of important to your future self ❤

-Caitlynne

Why I Pushed Off School

Right now, I don’t really know what I want to do with my career. I want to keep blogging, I know for sure, but I can’t live off of what I want right now. Months ago, I decided to stop going to school until I can decide where I want my life to go. I don’t want to pursue a career I’ll hate. My “dream” career would be a game developer. I would absolutely love to create games people would play with their friends and family. Even being an author sounds amazing to me. I just need an extra push to keep writing and making a game. I wonder when that’ll happen and what form it’ll take…

My Mental Health and Getting Better

I know I’ve done this post just with a different name many times, but I actually mean it this time. I have a pushing force behind me this time whose telling me what to do (boyfriend)

I’ve always had some self-confidence or self-esteem issues. I know it’s a problem, and I’ve tried working on it, but it always seems to resurface and hurt me. I can’t say I’m depressed or that I have anxiety issues. I beat myself up a lot and I worry. When I say I’ve tried fixing it, I’ve only tried talking about it. That’s it.

How I beat myself up:

  • When things go wrong, I blame myself. Thoughts like “It’s my fault.”or “I caused it.” pop in and take over.
  • I say bad things about myself. When I get into a sad mood I say stuff like “I’m dumb.” or “Who would want to be with me.” or “I’m not good at anything.” and I want to prove to myself that I’m wrong. I want to find the things I’m good at, I want to prove to myself that I’m smart. I want to live a good life.

So I want to be better. And I think talking about my feelings would get that speed bump smaller. Another big thing is living better. I want to have a clean room! I want to eat healthier! I want to exercise more! So I have a small plan leading to a bigger one overall.

  • Go through my clothes and downsize
  • Set a schedule when to clean
  • Save money by buying groceries and skip the McDonald’s
  • Set a day where I’ll exercise once a week

I’ll update you guys on my process of this, with a post every once in a while, I promise!!

I guess it’s time to start living better…

-Caitie

What I Love About Spring

I’m finally writing this post since it’s been in my drafts or what it feels like years now. I’ve been incredibly lazy these pat couple week, but it’s okay! I’m writing this now. 😀

I’m not going too much into detail, because of this laziness so deal with it
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  • Flowers
    • Specifically daisies
  • The Outdoors
    • Camping and Hiking
  • The rain
    • Puddle jumping and walking around
  • Cadbury Creme eggs
  • Gardening
    • Specifically veggies and flowers

Not in a specific order btdubs

That’s it for today, yall

-Caitie